Clowns

I’ve had it with these clowns.

I usually don’t do this, but sometimes the detritus just starts to become suffocating and I need to pop a valve open.  Once again, my day has been fucked up on the highest level by the legendary stains over at….we’ll call it OOPS.

As you can imagine, I have a lot of suppliers who send me silver, stones, tools, all kinds of stuff.  Well you’re all now on notice that I’m not taking shipments from these goofballs anymore.  If you want to work with me, you’re gonna go FedEx or you’re gonna go USPS.

Seriously, these clowns are hated by everyone.  I went to their facebook page expecting to be the asshole.  As it turns out, I’m not the only one who’s discovered the canyon of incompetence that is the OOPS company:

…yeah, they’re ALL like that.  The section is conveniently tucked away into Facebook’s “Comments by Others” section, but they’re there.  All of them.   It’s like a fail salad.

Kinda funny if it didn’t impact my clients.  For example, I have a client waiting on a class ring with green and yellow stones in the eyes.  Well guess what?  Who knows where the fuck those stones are now because they were shipped with OOPs.  This delays me setting the stones, which delays me finishing the ring, etc, etc.

I’d guess the stones are probably with this guy:

“Stop eating my sesame CAKE.”

You kind of get the impression that these douchebags are incompetent pretty much everywhere, but I can tell you first hand that the Atlanta office has got to be the crown jewel in the kingdom of idiocy and apathy that is OOPS.

At least the facebook reviews are glowing.

These are all within the last 24 hours and there are SO many more that mention the NAME of this company, which I’m trying to exclude.

So what’s the point?

It takes a long time to make these rings as it is, okay?  My clients are patient, patient people to wait as long as they do for these projects.  The last thing I need is a third party shipping company screwing with my time table.

So yeah, I’m pissed.  It happens.

Now what do we do about it?  How can we make this into something constructive?

By saying “FUCK YOU.”  That is: I’m going to be giving away a FUCK YOU ring for the cost of shipping.  It’s a Mystery Cave, Big Voodoo, or Little Voodoo (your choice) with “FUCK YOU” written across the forehead, on the shank, or inside the band.  First person to send me their ring size along with a cool photo of them with that big old middle finger extended in a classic “FUCK YOU” bird (something I can post on the blog, so no nudity you filthy animals).

Yes, your ring has to say those words.  Sorry, no opt-outs.  If you win and you want the ring, it’s getting those magical four letters somewhere on the ring.  We can be creative, though.  I’m open to using initials only if we must.

So send me your emails.  Again please make sure you’re cool with me posting the picture on my site!  I’m looking for creativity as well as punctuality.  I’m not just taking the first shot I get, but rather the first shot I get that soothes my rage with it’s coolness.

In the meantime, I’ll sooth myself with one of these: